Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize