Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
