This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
