Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
high people should be assigned attendants
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
