Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
