Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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