i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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