He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
