does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
