WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
