the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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