So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
