I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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