My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
