He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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