I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
