Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
