Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
