They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
