yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
