Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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