whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
