dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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