He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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