Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
