Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
