Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
