I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
