gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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