Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
