Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
