can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
