how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
