Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
