Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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