some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
