In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
