I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
