if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
