girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
