She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
