I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
