my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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