Just mADE A PArabola og urine
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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