if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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