butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
