We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
