I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
