Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
