she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
