Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
